A Day Off in the Life of a Jedi Master
by Yodadaman
Summary: One Day Jedi Master Yoda wakes up from a call that tells him he has a day off. See what Yoda does when he's not battling the Sith or training young padawans.


A Day Off in the Life of a Jedi Master 

The sight of a sunset coming into the sky in a beautiful early day in Corecaunt, the sound of speeder cars zooming past, and a bright building about 500 stories that reaches above the clouds. At those times nothing is better than watching the world happen from the view of a Jedi Master, The wisest and strongest of the Jedi. But when you wake up from a phone call at 6:36 it's hard to imagine who and why someone would be calling. The old green Jedi Master tried his hardest effort to get out of bed and answer the phone. As he was reaching his cane, the same annoying sound rung in his long pointy ears. He couldn't help it to yell still stretching his old small body. The third time it rung he used his knowledge and strength to use the force and answer the surprising message left by Mace Windu, another Jedi Master. When he found out he had the day off he couldn't imagine the things he could do and that's when the day starts.

Message: Hello Yoda, today the Sith are taking a rest so all of are taking the day off.

Yoda: But I made those papers I did for the attack on the Empi-

Message:-have a nice day off BEEP!

Yoda: Crap those messages, no actual communication there's not. Well I guess I will start taking breakfast, yesssss. Good old Cheerios.

A droid cleaning the counters in the kitchen turned to greet the frustrated old Jedi, although it knew it couldn't comfort the stubborn creature without cereal.

Droid: How are you doing this morning Master Jedi?

Yoda: Shut up and give me the frickin' Cheerios you will.

Droid: Yes...(whisper) No good piece of sh-

Yoda: Say you what!

Droid: I said here's your cheerios (leaving the room).

After some time Yoda finished his cereal and begun to walk slowly to the turbolift to take him to the parking lot.

Yoda: Now which level is the parking lot? Start will 1. and up I will. Nope. Nope. NO!

An alien creature walked in with tentacles coming out the back of it's head and black bright eyes. By the looks of it a Jedi.

Yoda: Ugly one, which button is the parking lot? Day off I have. Got to spend it well I do.

Jedi:frustrated Maybe you should try the "parking lot" button, Idiot! You should know you're a Jedi Master.

Yoda partially listened, for he had no care for this creature, only heard about the parking lot button. He pushed the parking lot button and began to go down.

Yoda: (leaving) Thank you, young padawan learner.

Yoda: Taxi! Taxi!

As a Taxi came Yoda jumped in and examined the politer of the yellow craft. Yoda told him his destination.

Yoda: Take me to the retirement palace you will. They are serving wookie pudding cream. Yessss, pudding.

Pilot: I'll try green dude-

Yoda:-Try not. Do. There is no try. You have much to learn, you do, not piloting yellow floating machines you call "Taxies".

Pilot: I meant I will take you there but if you're going to lecture me about how my job sucks I could just kick you out now!

Yoda: serious tone Oh you will, you will.

Dropping the green creature at the retirement building he tilted the Taxi to trip him off the craft. A scream of surprisement Yoda fell off. As the craft zoomed off quick he pulled him up with his cane. He walked on one of the hovercrafts in the front to help him in.

Greeter: May I help you?

Yoda: Serve pudding cream you will to me. I feel the force in this cream I do. Serve this in the Jedi Temple you will start.

Greeter: Right this way Master Jedi.

Looking around he saw a line of old creatures that were waiting for their pudding. It was no problem to him now that he thought about it. He walked to a large statue innocently whistling and took out his lightsaber. Before the people knew what was happening, the statue fell on of them. Yoda jumped to the server and ordered.

Yoda: I'll have the pudding cream I will. Wait what is this Happy Meal? How can a meal bring happiness to someone?

Server: It costs $199.99 and includes a burger, fries, a drink, and a toy-

Yoda:-a toy! This Happy Meal must of came from the force itself. What choices there are?

Server: Superman and Spiderman.

Yoda: How is this Superman…Super?

Server: It's a action figure, O.K.? What do you want?

Yoda: "action"…"figure"?

Server: Look do you want the Happy Meal?

Yoda: I'll take the Happy Meal and the pudding, I will.

Server: (sigh) All right that will be $349.98.

Jedi Mind Trick

Yoda: You will give me it for free.

Server: I will give you it for free.

Yoda: Give me all your "Happy Toys".

Server: Here take the Happy Toys.

Yoda: You're a complete moron.

Server: I'm a complete moron.

Yoda: laughing Take my underwear for good luck.

Server: (undressing) Here take my underwear for good luck.

Mace: What took you so long? I've been here for an hour.

Yoda: I had to get my Happy Meal, I did. It comes with a toy, from the force's core.

Mace: That's just an action figure of Superman.

Yoda: When 900 years old, you become a little drugged up, hmmmm.

CRASH! All of the sudden a Yellow HummerCraft 5000 crashes through the wall. Mace Windu drops his food and took out his lightsabers ready for anything. But Yoda still eating his Happy Meal and using the force on his Superman toy. Then surprisingly Lebron James steps out of the craft.

Lebron: Yo old foos', who wants to go to the Final Four!

Yoda: I am wondering, why are you here?

Lebron: the frickin' Final Fours, yo! Mace I am your father, join me and together we could we could go to the final fours!

Mace: No, that's impossible. NOOOOOOO!

Yoda: Time for this there is not.

Yoda pushes Lebron out the window with the force. Mace still frozen, was about to kill Yoda when Yoda got the passes with the force back for the game and gave it to Mace.

Yoda: Knock yourself out you can. But choose you will, stay here with Happy Meals or with the bouncing ball.

Mace: Yoink! See ya!

After Yoda finishes his Happy Meal he walks outside and a tall man in funky clothes walks up to him.

Yoda: Yoda, you seek Yoda. Help you I will.

Stranger: I'm Luke Skywalker and I've come to be a Jedi baby

Yoda: Hmmmm, you're the one called Austin Powers, yesssss.

Austin: Yeah baby, yeah. Tell me how did you know?

Yoda: Patience! Use the force.

Austin: Dude, give me your cane and I can like totally use the force baby.

Yoda: Mine! The boy has no patience.

Ben: Don't bother he won't learn patience.

Austin: What? It's just I can't wait to show you Yoda baby.

Dr. Evil: Yoda, I'm getting angry and when I get angry Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset, and when Mr. Bigglesworth gets upset people die!

Sam Gamgee: Mr. Frodo, AAAAAAH!

Austin: See ya later baby I got to found out what rag shagged me.

Yoda: What the crap, messed up my day off is or what?

E.T.: El…io…tt?

Yoda: Yes messed up it is.

I'll…be…right here. Do…you…see me? I'm…right…he-

Yoda: Up there my foot will be if you don't shut up.

E.T.: Ouch. Will…you…be…my…friend?

Yoda: taking out lightsaber AAAARRRGGGH!

E.T.: (running away) E.T. phone home, E.T. phone home!

Yoda: Go home I will. Meditate on this.

Yoda goes back to the retirement home and steals the hovercraft. Wanting to get home fast he used the rockets on it and with a couple attempts to stay on he blasted home.

Yoda: Pedeme! If we look in the bed together maybe we can find my little buddy!

THE END


End file.
